<!DOCTYPE html>
<html>
<head>
<meta charset="UTF-8">
<title>X Is Never Equal To Y by obidalanetwork_archivist</title>
<style type="text/css">

body { background-color: #ffffff; }
.CI {
text-align:center;
margin-top:0px;
margin-bottom:0px;
padding:0px;
}
.center   {text-align: center;}
.cover    {text-align: center;}
.full     {width: 100%; }
.quarter  {width: 25%; }
.smcap    {font-variant: small-caps;}
.u        {text-decoration: underline;}
.bold     {font-weight: bold;}
</style>
</head>
<body>
<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26229397">X Is Never Equal To Y</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/obidalanetwork_archivist/pseuds/obidalanetwork_archivist'>obidalanetwork_archivist</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Star Wars, Star Wars - All Media Types</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Complete, Hurt/Comfort, Movie: Star Wars: Revenge of the Sith, Romance</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2013-12-18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2013-12-18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 11:02:23</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Not Rated</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>5,669</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26229397</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/obidalanetwork_archivist/pseuds/obidalanetwork_archivist</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>During Ep. III, Obi and Padme hide out together with the twins. Just a brief one-shot in which they have a light conversation, and end up sharing much more.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>Obidala Network</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>X Is Never Equal To Y</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Note from Nadia, the archivist: this story was originally archived at <a href="https://fanlore.org/wiki/Obidala_Network">Obidala Network</a> and was moved to the AO3 as part of the Open Doors project in 2020. I tried to reach out to all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are the creator and would like to claim this work, please contact me using the e-mail address on <a href="http://archiveofourown.org/collections/obidalanetwork/profile">Obidala Network’s collection profile</a>.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Perhaps she dreamed. Perhaps this was an absolute nightmare that she would never awaken from. Or maybe she was floating in a heaven that she had always desired. She really didn’t know or understand where she was, or what was happening. Too much had occured all at once. So much that she had given up on making sense of it all. Occasionally the image of golden eyes rimmed with crimson glaring at her from beneath a hooded cloak, flashed across her mind. Whenever this happened, she would do the best to deny that it had happened at all. Perhaps if she ignored the fact, it would be as if it had never happened in the first place.</p><p>What had happened to her beloved young boy with the tossing blond hair? She remembered the way those eyes, once a crystalline blue, had regarded her playfully over the rim of a teacup, or gazed at her with the petals of a flower reflected in their orbs. Eyes always betrayed much about a person. Especially whenever he had looked at her. Whenever she had heard that someone possessed glaring red eyes, she had always taken it to be one enormous metaphor for a deep passion or rage that resided inside a person. Perhaps there was more truth to the saying than others cared to admit. For his eyes had been the deepest velvet red she had ever encountered.</p><p>Some eyes told volumes. Others did not.</p><p>She sat alone on this night. Or was it morning already? She had lost track of time long ago, as it no longer held much meaning for her. Life was one, long pointless journey for her now. She knew she had almost nothing left to live for, but only one thing kept her rooted in this world.</p><p>Luke and Leia. She had to remain alive and persevere for her two tiny children. So small that they had no inkling of the turmoil of the world that they had been born into. One day they would know -- one day they would have to wake up and face the disasters that had been brought about by their own mother. But for now, they remained peacefully ignorant of it all. She knew she was bitterly envious. How silly to be jealous of the carefree minds of children!</p><p>She kicked at a scrunch of pebbles scattered in the dust before her feet. A small dust storm arose around her feet, rising in tune to the sway of her legs. She lamented the days long past when the sole worries on her mind had been which dress to wear to which function, or which book to borrow next from the library. Those days had floated by in ages past, and even then they had not been long. It seemed that she had never enjoyed a complete childhood. And she knew there were many like her.</p><p>Was that a mist of gray upon the horizon? It must have been later than she had surmised. Oh, but what did it matter anyway? She leaned her back leisurely against the smooth rock that jutted out on the shore before a placid lake. It was extremely reminiscent of her beloved Naboo retreat where she had spent so many pleasurable hours with him. It had been the only place where she was able to shed her politician’s garb and step into the simple robes of a young girl, truly, deeply, and horribly in love.</p><p>How silly they had all been. How stupid to believe that things could have always continued in such a fashion. She knew Obi-Wan had been right all along. For a time he had turned a blind eye to her relationship with Anakin, but she understood that he had found it difficult not to notice. She remembered the day he had cornered her in a distant sector of the Senate building, where she had paused for a moment to collect her thoughts before a meeting of the upper house. All too clearly, she recalled his sharp warnings and rebuke. But she had ignored him. So had Anakin. And in the end, it had all led to disaster.</p><p>Distantly, a part of her mind registered the sound of the wail of an infant. She cast a glance back over her shoulder at the small hut nestled in the trembling alcove of shaded trees. It looked safe there, somehow protected. Almost as if those simple trees protected them all from the dangers that lurked among the stars, dimly fading one by one in the approaching morning light. It was so peaceful here. So quiet. She had never understood how much she had always wanted a place like this to call her own, until she had been thrown into the situation. If only she could have shared happy memories here. If only Anakin could have shared them with her. If only he hadn’t been so ambitious. If only she hadn’t been such a fool. If only she hadn’t tried to settle her lust for one soul with another. If only.</p><p>She was slowly driving herself mad. If only, if only.</p><p>The child was still crying. From here, she couldn’t tell if it was Luke or Leia. All that she knew was that a needy child was demanding attention. She pushed herself up off the ground, smearing her hands with the early dew shimmering upon the healthy grass. Her dress must have been covered with grass stains by now, but she didn’t care. What was the use of taking care of one’s appearance here in the middle of nowhere, where there was no one to see her?</p><p>And Obi-Wan didn’t count. She had become accustomed to him long ago. Perhaps they shared a common pain that only the other could understand. There had been no use in remaining Senator and General in a place where no one knew them. In a place where it was only them, and the two infants, whose cries had already begun to dwindle.</p><p>She decided to check on them anyway. Perhaps they still needed something that she could provide. Bitterly, she knew that what they needed was a normal home. How long could the four of them remain hidden on this planet, in a remote sector that most people had never heard of? Obi-Wan had told her that both Palpatine’s reach and resources were great, and that they were never safe in one place for long.</p><p>Soon Bail Organa would come for her and Leia. And she would never see Luke or Obi-Wan again.</p><p>She would ignore the thought for the time being. It was no use dwelling on things that could not be changed.</p><p>Anakin was one of Palpatine’s resources, she reflected further. Why hadn’t anyone understood what Palpatine was doing to him the whole time? For that matter, why hadn’t anyone even realized what Palpatine had been doing to the Senate for over thirty years? He had been a cancer, spreading throughout the ranks of politicians from within, before they even knew what had seized them. Although she had never quite liked the man, even she had not guessed. He had been so conniving, so brilliant that everyone respected him -- even if they didn’t like him on an instinctual level. And so it had been for her; she too had respected the man. And all that Palpatine had probably ever seen in her had been a naïve girl, young and easily manipulated. And when he had discovered her infatuation with the Jedi, he capitalized on it.</p><p>She pulled open the small, thatched door that served as a feeble protection against any possible enemies. There was a substantial chill inside, although the night was a warm one. The tiny, two-roomed abode seemed scant protection against anything, but at least it had a warm and safe feel to it. The cool floor sent cold scampering across her skin as her bare feet connected with the cold, hard material of the ground.</p><p>In one corner of the room she had entered, slept two tiny bundles side by side. Neither moved in their sleep, but as she approached she could see their small bodies rising with every breath that they took. Such miniscule, perfect children. And they were hers. Sometimes it seemed as if every single one of her troubles would fade, whenever she looked at the twins that she had been blessed with. With a finger, she gently teased at Leia’s pink head. She frowned, when she noticed that Luke was sleeping with his thumb tucked firmly into his mouth.</p><p>“What a horrid habit,” she softly reprimanded. She smiled anyway. She so wanted to pick both of them up and press the two to her breast, but she refrained, knowing that the children needed their sleep. And so did she, for that matter. Often they kept her up at all odd hours of the night, and now she had a rare opportunity for rest. Of course, on this night she was visited by insomnia once more. She almost wished one of them would wake up again and start wailing for her attention. She loved being needed.</p><p>She didn’t know how long she hovered there at the edge of the crib, imagining futures that would never come to pass. Every time she entertained herself with a splendid fantasy, the image of those cruel eyes would interrupt her dreams unfailingly. She remembered the way that he had looked at her, the way that his fist had felt as it connected harshly with her cheek. How he had thrown her against a wall and demanded that she be his forever.</p><p>Her harsh remembrances were interrupted by a quiet intonation from behind her. “There you are.”</p><p>She straightened, looking back over her shoulder. “Obi-Wan,” she greeted him, swaying slightly. She must have been more tired than she thought. She noticed that he held a steaming mug in his hands, patiently waiting on the edge of the antechamber that served them as a makeshift kitchen.</p><p>“I was just about to bring you back inside before you caught something,” he told her. “Here, drink this. It may help you sleep.” He held out the mug to her.</p><p>She shook her head, “I’m not cold. It’s nicer outside right now.”</p><p>“Your feet are wet.”</p><p>“Oh.” She hadn’t noticed. There was so much more these days to worry about besides wet feet. She accepted the mug and tilted her head inquisitively, “How did you know I couldn’t sleep?”</p><p>“This is an extremely odd hour to be up and about,” he returned.</p><p>“Did I wake you?” She noticed his hair was slightly ruffled and his eyes still heavy from sleep. She smiled when she noticed he hadn’t even had time to lace his shirt properly, as it was now flapping with the slight breezes that blew in from the windows.</p><p>“No, Luke did. But I put him back to sleep.”</p><p>“I’m sorry.” She sipped at the drink. It slipped pleasantly down her throat, its warmth spreading soothingly throughout her body. “I should have been watching the twins.”</p><p>He frowned and retrieved another mug for himself. “Don’t be sorry. You need your rest as much as any of us.”</p><p>She leaned back against the wall, cupping her hands around the hot ceramic material. “But I’m his mother. I should be there when he needs me.”</p><p>“You have needs too, Padmé,” he reminded her. “Don’t worry about it.”</p><p>She took another swig of the liquid. “Hm, it’s good.”</p><p>“Thank you.” He looked at her, “Do you feel tired yet?”</p><p>“Are you trying to drug me?”</p><p>“You need to sleep. I haven’t seen you get one hour of decent sleep for a week now.”</p><p>She shook her head. “You know drugs don’t work on me. Not anymore…” she trailed off, searching for the proper words. “I just can’t. Sleep will come to me when I deserve it.”</p><p>“And what’s that supposed to mean?” Obi-Wan’s tone wasn’t harsh, but neither was it accommodating. Perhaps she pitied herself too much.</p><p>She did not answer his question. Instead, “You don’t sleep either,” she accused.</p><p>“Then I am guilty as well.”</p><p>It was the beginning of a conversation they had had many times before. It was a conversation in which they had often debated blame, guilt, and questioned responsibility. And in the end, they both knew it was futile to ration out blame for the way that things had turned out.</p><p>“Come outside with me,” she asked suddenly. “It promises to be a beautiful day.”</p><p>He glanced doubtfully at the two sleeping children, but she just laughed and pulled on his arm. “They’ll be fine. And as trite as it sounds, let’s go outside and watch the sunrise.”</p><p>He was quiet as they walked back to her rock beside the lake. She had timidly slid her arm around the crook of his elbow, and he had not protested when she leaned closer as they walked. To an observer, they might have been lovers. It was in the intimate way that she tilted her head closer to hear something that he said, or the way that he casually flicked a wisp of her tumbling hair away from her eyes.</p><p>Maybe it was an echo of a future that had once been possible, or the shade of a happier parallel universe intruding into their own nightmarish world.</p><p>“Do you think things might have ever turned out differently?” Padmé seated herself back on the moist grass and pulled him down beside her. She breathed deeply. They had always danced around this conversation before.</p><p>“It’s better not to dwell on what ifs,” he responded softly, sipping at the tea.</p><p>She shrugged, “Maybe I’m too curious for my own good. But what if Qui-Gon hadn’t died?”</p><p>He answered evenly, “And what if I had never suggested we hide on Tattooine?”</p><p>“We wouldn’t have met Anakin,” she whispered. “And maybe you would have been a bit more perceptive.”</p><p>He looked at her curiously, “What?”</p><p>“Nothing, Obi-Wan.”</p><p>“If Qui-Gon hadn’t died,” he continued, “Maybe Anakin wouldn’t have turned. Force knows, the boy shouldn’t have been trained in the first place, and especially not by me.”</p><p>Padmé leant her head against his shoulder, sighing when he absently pulled her closer out of habit. “Don’t say that,” she advised. “You were a good teacher.” Often they sat together thus, their mannerisms around each other comfortable. Friends could hold each other, couldn’t they? Padmé always tried to not feel guilty whenever they touched each other, firmly reminding herself of the platonic nature of their relationship.</p><p>“Not nearly good enough,” he returned. “I should have been more firm with him. He wasn’t ready to be out on his own. I wasn’t ready to teach anyone. I was young and arrogant, not unlike him.”</p><p>“You were not,” she gently smacked at the hand that rested protectively on her shoulder. “Stop blaming yourself.”</p><p>“Mm,” he sipped at the tea.</p><p>She closed her eyes. “Maybe this wouldn’t have been such a disaster if I had followed my heart in the first place.” She felt his inquiring gaze on her face, and she only sidled closer to him, resting her head against his warm chest. “You know, I always rather fancied you,” she tried to make her voice teasing.</p><p>She could feel the uncertainty in his touch, as he ran a hand gently through her hair. She loved it when he caressed her like this; it almost seemed as if all would be right with the world if she could only stay like this with him forever.</p><p>When he spoke, he seemed slightly amused. “Did you?”</p><p>“Yes,” she giggled. “As did half my handmaidens. The other half were rather keen on Qui-Gon, I must say.” She looked up at him cheekily, “But I suppose that you were used to it by then. All you Jedi are more handsome than you have a right to be.”</p><p>And to that, Obi-Wan laughed. “You flatter me,” he murmured. “But you are not without assets as well.”</p><p>She snorted, “I’m a decrepit, middle-aged woman with two children to take care of. I’m developing crow’s feet and I have more wrinkles than there are stars in the galaxy.”</p><p>“Don’t say things like that,” he admonished softly. “At least you’re not going gray like some of us.”</p><p>She giggled again. “It makes men look distinguished.”</p><p>“I think I may be going bald,” he teased.</p><p>“How horrid!” she responded in mock horror. Then she turned and sat up, looking seriously into his eyes. “I would have loved you anyway, bald or not.”</p><p>His eyes widened for a moment, and then he looked away. “Don’t say such silly things,” he chided again. “Some matters are not meant to be laughed at.”</p><p>Padmé sat back on the ground across from him and crossed her legs. “I’m not joking,” she responded. “I waited so long for you to notice me, but you never did. I thought I had made it obvious to you, but to you I was always your highness or milady.” She said the words almost mockingly.</p><p>“Padmé, we shouldn’t be talking about this,” he warned evenly.</p><p>She turned an angry glare on him, “What, are you afraid Anakin might find out?” She averted her face, “By the time he became Vader, he had already jumped to every conclusion possible. Of course, he entirely missed the truth.”</p><p>Obi-Wan said nothing in response for a time. He continued to look at her with interest, yet never betrayed a word.</p><p>Finally, she reiterated her question. “I want a straight answer from you,” she continued. “Did you ever notice me?”</p><p>He was gazing at her sadly. “Don’t think that I ignored you for a moment, Padmé.” And that was all he uttered. Yet the simple sentence meant the world to her. Or, at any rate, what was left of their particular world.</p><p>She blushed and looked away. “Then why didn’t you ever say anything to me? You let me hold you the night Qui-Gon died, but after that you barely said a word to me again for thirteen years. Why?”</p><p>He looked into her eyes. His own were honest and kind. But they were also cold. “You know why, Padmé.”</p><p>She shook her head, “I guess I do. You were always too much the perfect and exemplary Jedi.”</p><p>There was no response.</p><p>Padmé glanced up again. “Would you have left the Order for me? Would you have given up everything?”</p><p>“No.”</p><p>It was a brutal answer, but it was also honest. “You never could lie properly,” her voice trembled, but she maintained her controlled front admirably.</p><p>“I’m sorry.” He looked away, his gaze focused somewhere beyond the calm façade of the lake. “I was a fool, but you know that I couldn’t.”</p><p>“Anakin offered me everything that you would not,” she murmured. “I thought that I could be happy with him.”</p><p>“You were,” Obi-Wan reminded her. “For a time, you were.”</p><p>She laughed, the sound disdainful. “Only because I thought I could make myself happy with a man who loved me and children who needed me.”</p><p>“And you have both.”</p><p>“Had.” Her breath whistled angrily through her teeth, and she lumbered to her feet, staring at him accusingly. “Why can’t you understand?” She looked entirely demanding suddenly. Angered. Frustrated. “I hated it. Every moment was a small nightmarish universe in itself. I hated the constant lies. The deception. The fact that we had to hide it from everybody!” She suddenly realized she was beginning to shout and took a slow breath. “I thought that if someone loved me enough, it wouldn’t matter if I loved him in return.”</p><p>He appeared as calm as ever, studying her with that mildly interested gaze that all Jedi seemed to have mastered.</p><p>“Oh, don’t look at me like that,” she snapped. “The whole time I wished it had been with you,” she continued. “Maybe then I wouldn’t have felt so guilty. Guilty that I was lying to everyone. Guilty because somewhere at the back of my mind, I knew I never truly loved Anakin. I was frustrated,” she finally mumbled. Then she shuddered, “It was more than that. I can’t put it into words.”</p><p>“Some things should not be spoken aloud.” He was looking past her, back out at the lake.</p><p>She shook disheveled hair back from her eyes. “Maybe not,” she agreed. “But you’d have to be a fool to deny them.”</p><p>“I believe we already established that,” he looked up at her inquisitively from the ground, watching as a fresh breeze stirred her dress and hair into a waltz.</p><p>“That you’re in denial?”</p><p>“That I’m a fool.”</p><p>“Both, I think.” She sank back down to her knees, shivering. “Well, I was an idiot too. I was never good at math, but X has never equaled Y in my world.”</p><p>He lifted an eyebrow, “What?”</p><p>“Anakin could never be you,” she was straight-faced as she spoke the words. After a second, she snorted, “I should be turned into a holosoap. Just listen to me!” Then she wrapped her arms about herself. “It really is a bit cold out here.”</p><p>Then she began to cry. She didn’t know exactly what she was weeping for, only that it was something that had needed to be done for years. “I’m so cold,” she stuttered, her words possessing multiple meanings. “I didn’t deserve any of it,” she went on, beginning to tear at the ground, “Not him. Not his love. Not his children!” She clawed her hands through her hair, possessing a sudden urge to cut it off. She beat her fists against the grass; “I don’t even deserve you now! Why are you helping me?” She suddenly demanded this, looking up with searching eyes at Obi-Wan. “Why do you care so much about the despicable soul who’s responsible for everything that’s happened?” She turned away, her actions and mind entirely crazed now.</p><p>When she felt him firmly grasp her shoulders, she shook him off. “Don’t touch me!” She snarled the words, hiding her face in her hands.</p><p>She fell into these moods occasionally. Deep in her heart, Padmé knew that she was always a pathetic sight whenever this happened. She couldn’t help but reject any aid that was offered to her when she flew into such tempers, and knew that Obi-Wan had learned to melt cautiously into the background until she was calm again.</p><p>Padmé had expected him to be well gone by the time she felt her trembling begin to subside.</p><p>She was greatly surprised when he touched her for the second time and firmly turned her around to face him. Padmé continued to shudder from the tears, dabbing at her face with a sleeve of her nightgown, uttering, “Don’t look at me, please.”</p><p>And so she was even more shocked when he suddenly kissed her fully and deeply on the lips. He was gentle at first, and then urgent as her protests became louder, albeit still muffled. Padmé began to tremble now from the kiss. “What…” she stuttered, finally escaping, “What in the name of Boss Nass and all that is holy to the Hutts did you just do?” She tried to push away from him, but Obi-Wan continued to hold her closely against him.</p><p>“Melodrama doesn’t become you, Padmé,” he murmured in response. “Besides, I’m not entirely the heartless miscreant that you seem to take me for. After saying all of those things to me, I had to do something.”</p><p>“Bastard,” she flung her gaze away, trying to twist out of his grasp.</p><p>“Well it worked, didn’t it?” Whispering gently, he leaned forward again, “At least you’re not crying anymore.”</p><p>“You’re right. I’ve gone into post-traumatic shock.”</p><p>“Mm,” and he captured her lips once again, urging her to part and to let him in.</p><p>Warmth instantly flooded her body. “Obi-Wan,” she protested softly, sighing slightly because his beard was tickling her face.</p><p>“Relax,” he urged her. “Haven’t you already berated me for being so damn honorable? If you want me to stop, I will.”</p><p>The sincerity in his tone lessened her apprehension somewhat. When she felt him slip her soft gown from her shoulders and begin to explore the newly exposed shoulder with gentle lips, all that she could think was, Finally. After thirteen damned years, finally.</p><p>But she was still afraid. Reluctantly, she pushed him away, holding up the folds of her dress with a hand. She shook her head, “You’ve always been kind to me,” she whispered, glancing away, her other hand still firmly on his shoulder, holding him at a distance. “But you don’t have to do this out of pity. I know you’d be betraying every ideal you’ve ever valued in your life…and I just don’t want you to do that just for me. It makes no sense, I mean, why are you doing this now? Why not earlier? What are you -- mooomph!”</p><p>He had captured her mouth once again. "Stop babbling,” he broke the kiss long enough to utter the words. “You’re supposed to be a distinguished and elegant politician.”</p><p>She shook her head. “And you’re not allowed to fall in love.”</p><p>Obi-Wan suddenly pulled away. “Not allowed to fall in love?” he echoed.</p><p>“‘There is no passion; there is serenity’,” Padmé echoed the all-too familiar words.</p><p>“I don’t think the rules apply any longer,” he told her, glancing seriously into her eyes. “But what’s really bothering you?”</p><p>Padmé bit her lip, “Is this pity? I have to know.”</p><p>“Force, I just don’t understand women sometimes,” he muttered. “Has it ever occurred to you that maybe I want this too? Honestly, you silly thing,” He tickled her face with a blade of grass, plucked neatly from the ground. “Feel, don’t think. That’s what Master Yoda once told me,” he lay down into the sweet, soft grass, settling her on to his hips.</p><p>“I’m pretty sure Yoda didn’t exactly have this in mind when he told you that,” Padmé was still sitting up, but she was glancing down at him now with a gentle smile.</p><p>“Will you hurry up and get down here?” He demanded, pillowing his head on his hands as he lay in the grass staring up at her. “I’m getting quite impatient waiting for you.”</p><p>“Cheeky Jedi.” She crossed her arms and stuck her tongue out at him, “I’ve got you right where I’ve always wanted you, and I’m going to enjoy it while it lasts. And besides, what are you going to do about it?”</p><p>“This,” he winked and waved his right hand slightly. Padmé glanced down when she felt the laces of her nightgown begin to come undone with a ghostly hand to guide them.</p><p>“No fair!” She giggled and collapsed on top of him. “Fine, you win for the moment, but further use of the Force is outlawed.” He chuckled in reply and closed his eyes as she traced the counters of his face with light fingertips. For a moment she feared that this was all a simple fantasy. That if she pressed too hard, he would just dissolve into molecules right before her eyes and she would awaken from the pleasant dream. She sighed, “I’m afraid that if I close my eyes, you’ll disappear,” she whispered.</p><p>“I won’t. Not yet,” he replied simply, the melancholy truth in his words. She slowly let out a moan when he kissed her again, this time at the sensitive spot beneath her throat where her collarbone formed a soft V with the top of her chest. He had begun to pull at the hem of her light nightgown, slowly riding it up above her hips, caressing the creamy skin beneath.</p><p>She suddenly reached to still his hand, wanting to have a bit more fun with him yet. “Are you absolutely sure you’re not betraying your Code?” Padmé did her best to look at him seriously, her dress already half-gone from her willowy frame.</p><p>She heard him mutter something about impossible women, and then he growled, “Sith piss on the Code, Padmé.”</p><p>“You used to be so much more eloquent,” she smiled and nuzzled at his ear, releasing his hands and reaching to pull off his tunic.</p><p>“I know. Now stop making fun of me. I am a Jedi who can do impossible things to you later, you know.”</p><p>“Is that a threat?”</p><p>“More of a challenge, darling.”</p><p>Padmé just snickered. She loved the way he rolled off his Rs in that Deep Core lilt of his. She wasn’t sure that she could take much more of her own teasing, and so she prepared to surrender completely to him.</p><p>And then one of the children began to cry again.</p><p>“Force,” Obi-Wan exclaimed for the second time, covering his face with his hands.</p><p>Padmé jolted to her feet, now for the first time fully aware of what had been about to happen.</p><p>She, Padmé Naberrie Amidala Skywalker, had just been about to engage in sex with a man eleven years her senior, who was not only a Jedi, but had been her one-time husband’s mentor.</p><p>She noticed that Obi-Wan was still splayed out comfortably on the ground, examining her with strange emotion written all over his face. It was more than a fond look, but neither was it extremely possessive. “What?” she snapped.</p><p>She was prepared to blush to the very roots of her being and retreat into the house. This was, after all, the very core of mortification. Then Padmé tilted her head at him inquisitively when she felt and recognized the emotion for what it was.</p><p>Love. Pure and gentle love. No strings or baggage attached. Love in its simplest and most natural form. All playful words and gestures aside, she was able to truly look at him for the first time. She knew it was hard for him, baring his soul to her completely. For that was what he had done, and she smiled as she felt a gentle lull in her mind.</p><p>Anakin had once taught her how to listen to the Force. It had been a way to feel things that could never be expressed by words. Padmé thought that to some degree, any one who had ever been in love had felt at least a twinge of this power that united all living beings. Otherwise, how could people ever truly understand what love meant?</p><p>She smiled when she realized Obi-Wan had invited her into his mind, letting her peer into his very essence. An essence that no one but Qui-Gon had probably ever seen. Padmé knelt once again and wordlessly touched her forehead to his, knowing that theirs was a type of bond that few people ever experienced. To understand one’s lover truly and completely was indeed a gift, and she welcomed it wholly. She frowned, realizing that she wanted to do the same for him. It was simple really, just his gentle knock on the door that led to her own essence. Smiling, she let him in, and just for that moment, the two were complete.</p><p>Distantly, a child was crying.</p><p>Her eyes shot open. “I…I have to go and see…” she gestured toward the small house, fumbling for appropriate vocabulary.</p><p>He wordlessly pulled her to her feet, holding both her hands in his. The magic of the moment in their brief connection had once again disappeared, and Padmé suddenly felt very shy once again. He seemed to sense it, and released her hands, reaching to scratch thoughtfully at his beard. It was what he always did when he was perturbed by something, she noted.</p><p>“Um,” she turned and glanced at the hut. What could she say? Hold the phone, I’ll be right back?</p><p>When she looked back up, his eyes were firmly fixated on the lake, which was beginning to ripple as the wind picked up. Clouds had begun to gather, and it was clear that they would be receiving no true sunrise that day. Yet there was a sweetness in the breezes. An invitation toward pleasure long denied.</p><p>And of course she was trembling from head to toe. “I…” she tried again. “I won’t be a moment,” she finally muttered, naturally flushing a deep scarlet color. Of all the idiotic things to say to a Jedi she had just been about to…well…</p><p>She saw him blink several times as he continued to observe the water. “It’s going to rain,” he commented casually. Obi-Wan turned back to her and stretched, raising his arms into the air to receive the first drops of liquid, “In any case, we’ll be more comfortable inside. I’ve never enjoyed myself with a woman all that much on the ground with twenty sharp rocks all poking into me at once, anyway.”</p><p>Padmé stared. He was thoroughly savoring her discomfiture, the bastard.</p><p>“Of course with you, I’d enjoy myself anywhere.” He continued, voice full of mischief. Then he held a hand out to her, “But right now, I believe there’s a child who needs you more than I do,” he reminded her.</p><p>“Oh. Of course…” she took his hand, and shook her head to clear her mind. As they walked, she studied his face and saw that despite his flippant commentary, he still looked as serious as ever. And at the same time, she couldn’t help but adore him for it and feel his love in return. It was in the way that he held her hand, knowingly, as if they had done so their whole lives. It was in the way that he gently guided her into the house, shielding her from the rain as the torrent began to beat down. It was in the way that he helped her with her children as she rocked them back to sleep, singing a sweet lullaby in his serene voice.</p><p>And when the children were quiet, and the door to the bedroom had been shut, it was in the way he held her. Guarding her; protecting her from all that had passed, and from the horrors that were to come.</p><p>Fin</p>
  </div></div>
</body>
</html>